Haven’t We All Been Mary Jane?

Why are people so upset about the TV show Being Mary Jane? She chose to exercise bad judgement. I’m not condoning her behavior but the reality is she is like a lot of American women.

The women who hate on her and the show are probably ashamed to admit that they identify with her so much. Not just the affair, but the struggle of being a professional woman, dealing with family issues. work, and relationships. I think Mary Jane is much more than a woman who was once involved with a married man. ‪#‎BeingMaryJane‬

What single woman has not dealt with a lot of the issues that Mary Jane Paul has (aside from the affair)?  She has a brother struggling with addiction, another making bad life choices that could surely affect his freedom and future, and a niece who doesn’t value herself with more kids than she can afford. Who can’t say they don’t see their family reflected somewhere in her story?

So contrary to popular belief, I do not think the show is about a home wrecker or a scandalous side chick. I do think it is about a woman seeking a love of her own to fulfill the vision she set for her life.

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Reality TV: The Root of Divorce

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I can create a very long list of my favorite Reality television shows. And a list just as long of the marriages that dissolved after the marriage was put on public display via Reality TV.

Marriage in itself is difficult. Caring for another individual, the shared financial responsibility, children, family drama, you name it. Having your relationship put in front of millions on a weekly basis seems to be the exact recipe for the perfect divorce.

Why so many couples choose to share their most intimate moments with all of the world for a few dollars, I’ll never understand. What happens in many of these marriages is that, friends, the media, and just loyal television watchers begin to comment and impose their thoughts and feelings on the couple and their marriage. In the more recent divorce cases of Porsha and Cordell Stewart. Porsha is/was married to Cordell Stewart a former pro-football player and their relationship was aired in the latest season of BRAVO’s Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA). So many people had negative things to say about Cordell being controlling and Porsha not being independent enough or having much of a voice.

As a fan of the RHOA series, I think Porsha was right to defend her husband and her marriage. Not every relationship is for everyone. But for the most part I think that she was well within her right to not go to the strip club with the other ladies. In any relationship you need to choose your battles wisely. In her opinion arguing with her husband over a trip to see some naked women, probably wasn’t worth the drama it would have caused in their relationship. In her confessional, Porsha later revealed that she felt that by going to the strip club, she’d be partaking in degrading behavior and in her heart she had a ministry for women she wanted to develop. And I agree with Porsha that, that type of behavior wouldn’t be particularly conducive to empowering women through ministry.

Another alternative reason for the failed marriage is probably how Cordell saw himself on the show. Nobody knows what really goes on behind closed doors in a marriage. But once you open the doors and windows, you will certainly be put on display for all to comment. And once you really see how you’re portrayed on screen, it’s no debating the facts. Maybe Cordell didn’t like the way Porsha was portrayed and what people would say about her naiveté.

The bottom-line is that marriage vows are exchanged between two people. Those two people decide what works for their marriage and what doesn’t. Allowing outsiders to comment and doubt how you govern your marriage is setting the relationship up for failure. Especially, when many of those outsiders don’t have the best interest of the couple in mind when they give advice or commentary.

There are few marriages and relationships that have survived Reality TV. What’s their secret? Whatever it is they could definitely bottled it and sell it for millions. The one that immediately comes to mind is Ozzie and Sharon in the TV series The Osbournes. The Osbournes may be one of the few couples that survived the curse of reality tv, and by the looks of recent reports, their marriage is on the rocks. Another is Khloe and Lamar I like them together and I wish both couples the best.

A few of marriages that have failed the Reality TV test are:

English: Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson at th...
English: Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson at the Headquarters of US Marine Corps, posing for the camera. (The couple later hit the road with their “Nick & Jessica’s Tour of Duty”.) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (Newlyweds)

Bobby and Whitney (Being Bobby Brown)

Kate and Jon (Jon and Kate +8)

Nene and Gregg Leeks (well, apparently they’re remarrying)

Hulk and Linda (Hogan Knows Best)

Kim Kardashian and Kris (This marriage was probably doomed before the start due to so many reasons)

Eric Snow and DeShawn (RHOA)

Lisa Wu and Ed Hartwell (RHOA)

Jennifer and Eric Williams (Basketball Wives)

Bethany Frankel and Jason

Kelsey and Camille Grammer (RHOBH)

 

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